The Tall Tales of Jan Crouch

2 06 2009

Truth Matters Newsletter – September 2004 Vol. 8 No. 6 – The Tale Tales of Jan Crouch – by Rev. Bob Liichow

scan0010The following article is taken verbatim (underlining and bold type added for emphasis) from the Trinity Broadcasting Networks (TBN) web site. It is a very bizarre statement made by Jan Crouch, the wife and co-host of TBN.

As you read this story please keep in mind that this is coming from a woman who claimed that Jesus raised her pet chicken from the dead  (1)  and who claimed a recent miraculous healing from cancer {Truth Matters dealt at length with the fact that she received medical treatment and not a genuine miracle from God or even Benny Hinn}.

The following account is given by a woman who has been telling her global TBN audience on several occasions how God recently and miraculously multiplied the 2,000 toys she sent to starving children in Haiti to 6,000 toys! Frankly, I would have been more impressed by her tale if “God” had multiplied antibiotics, food or even clothing instead of the Caucasian Barbie® dolls, which look frighteningly like Jan herself. Lastly, do not forget this is a woman who claims to have seen our risen Lord who appeared to her with long blond hair and blue eyes (not too Semitic looking if you ask me).

** Jan Crouch’s comments will be (indented in quotes)

“Dear precious TBN Family, It happened last Wednesday. “Jan” I heard a voice say. “Yes”, I responded, looking around…. “Hello” I heard nothing. “Hello, is someone there? Did someone call me?” Working in my office about 4.00 p.m., I heard it again from down the hall: “Jan.” I answered, “Yes, I heard you…hello? Did someone call me?”

Twice Jan hears a voice so real as to be assumed by the reader to be audible, she certainly thought it was. It seems the voice calls her name close by her, she responds and receives no response. Then she hears this disembodied entity call out her name again, this time from down the hall. She cries out ‘Yes, I hear you…hello? Did some one call me?”

“With people coming and going during the day, I didn’t think that much about it. “

Hold the presses! The Crouch offices are private and completely set apart from the other minor players in the TBN empire. People, even those who work there do not have access to Paul & Jan’s offices. Obviously if someone had gotten close enough to audibly call her name, it was something she surely “thought” about.

“But, when it was 10:30 p.m. — and I was still in my office finishing up late faxes—I heard it again. “Jan” I froze in my chair. I said, “Is someone there?” and got up quickly and went to the back door. I called out, “Pinky, Baby, Jazzie, come in here and sit with mommy while I finish working.” The dogs gladly came running in and smelled everything in the house. With an 80 pound German shepherd by my side and her two side kicks, two toy poodles, I felt safe and sound and forgot about the voice calling. I quickly finished up and got everyone ready for a wonderful night’s sleep. “

I’m a little confused at this point of her story. It seems that Jan begins in her office at TBN headquarters, but maybe it is a home office (which makes the presence of ’people coming and going” even less likely). She makes a point to let us know she is still hard at work for another 6.5 hours when she hears this ethereal voice cry out her name yet again! She froze in her chair (a reaction of fear, which any Word of Faith practitioner knows is the opposite of faith) and asks “is someone there?” I say Jan was afraid because of her next actions, she gets up and calls her three dogs into the office and tells them to “come in here and sit with mommy.” With the security of two poodles and a German Shepherd she finishes her work quickly and got everyone ready for a wonderful night’s sleep. From this part of her story it seems she is at home, but she starts out in her office, oh those pesky details!

“I’m getting Holy Ghost goose bumps now just writing about this, because what was to happen in a few hours was truly heavenly! I suppose it was about three in the morning—I’ve been awakened a lot in the past year and when it happens I just talk to Jesus a while and usually fall back asleep—but this was different. I felt as if I was lifted up off my bed—not far, maybe one foot or so–but I felt as if I were floating and hands were holding me.  I had no fear whatsoever—only peace, only joy—and all I could do was “listen with my heart…and in my mind.”

Jan awakes; she is not asleep or dreaming according to her own words. She is awake and felt unseen hands holding her about a foot above the bed, i.e. she was levitated in some form or fashion. During this alleged encounter of the paranormal kind. Jan says (if words mean anything) that she was virtually paralyzed because “all” she could do was listen with her heart and in her mind. As an aside–I am curious where her husband Paul was during this event? I assume they share the same bed, well, perhaps not.

“I suddenly had a knowing” that it was the Father and He was holding me in His arms just to remind me of things He had asked me to do, and of things I had promised Him I would do for Him.”

In the midst of her elevating experience she had a revelation that it was no less than the Father Himself holding Janny up in His arms. Why? (1) Just to remind her of things He had asked her to do and (2) of things Jan had promised she would do for Him. I guess  Jan is incapable of hearing God through His Word and He had to levitate her and place her in some form of suspended animation to get her attention. She would have her devotees believe the God deals with her in a special way, a way so special that it has no real comparison in the whole of Scripture. Secondly, she is reminded by the “Father” of what she had promised to do for Him.  Since when does Almighty God have need of anyone doing anything for Him? This is a very common charismatic misconception concerning the nature of God— we were taught that we could either “tie” or “loose” the hands of God by our prayers or lack thereof. That God actually needed us in order to accomplish His plan. Let me assure you God does not need our help, we on the other had are totally dependent upon Him (please read John 15:51).

“It was not audible. I did not open my eyes. In His arms, I was reminded of Haiti: I saw peace, joy everyone happy, parks, bicycles, Jesus on everyone’s lips—the GLORY of the LORD radiating from everyone everywhere—in every home, every building. I saw the hospital “alive,” with the people being ministered to, and I saw myself there leaning over beautiful people doing all I could do. I saw Jesus everywhere—in faces, on the walls, in hearts.”

This portion of the encounter was not audible, but she in her trance state “sees” the nation of Haiti totally converted to faith in Jesus Christ. Everyone is happy, there are parks, and bicycles and the name of Jesus is on everyone’s lips. God’s glory (whom He shares with no other, see Isa 42:8) is radiating from everyone everywhere. Jan is busy doing “all I could” (for God) and she saw Jesus everywhere”. This certainly must be some time in the far, far distant future. Haiti’s national religion is voodoo. It is the poorest nation in our hemisphere. The vast majority of the people are far from happy, healthy and do not own bikes. Haiti is one of the darkest most demonic areas in the Caribbean. In defense one might say her vision was of the millennium. If so, then why the hospital? If Jesus was everywhere, what work did Jan have to “do” for Him, He is all powerful and all sufficient.

During Christ’s millennial reign there will be nothing to harm nor hurt (see Isa 11:6-9) us. Ergo her vision must take place some time before Christ’s visible return and the establishing of His earthly kingdom.

“Then, the absolute knowledge in my heart and mind flooded me “that my body was healed” I felt assured that the miracle was complete, and PEACE, JOY, TEARS, HOPE, COMFORT overwhelmed me. I don’t know how long this lasted.  I just know the next morning there was a NEW SONG in my heart, a new joy on my face—that my vision my purpose, my Kingdom destiny had been renewed in my heart and I now still feel the uplifting in my spirit.”

Jan switches gears and goes from telling us a picture of a paradisiacal Haiti back to her own condition. She comes to an “absolute knowledge” in both her heart and mind (how can one tell the difference?) that “my body was healed.” She felt assured that the miracle was complete. Ask yourself this question– is there such a thing as partial miracle? Biblical miracles were always complete works, and they usually had to do with the economy of God toward Israel or the Church. In four sentences Jan refers thirteen (13) times to herself. You see from start to finish this whole alleged encounter is all about Jan and not Jesus. Her vision, her purpose, her Kingdom destiny had been renewed in her heart!

It was just about a year ago when she was medically treated for cancer and it either went into remission or was destroyed via medical science, and we thank God for His mercy on Jan make no mistakes about this. Yet I find it incredible that within a year Jan has forgotten her pledge to God and her Kingdom purpose of her “Smile of a Child” mission which she said was why God healed her! It beggars the imagination that she so quickly let this divine intervention that kept her from the grave and allowed her to remain in the glow of the cathode ray tube of television:

“There is a place right around your middle that lifts, when you draw a breath—that is where the joy, the peace radiates from–I believe this is where the precious Holy Spirit abides. You can just be lifted in your sweet precious spirit now. Breathe in His love. Breathe in His peace. Breathe in His joy. Put your sweet hands over your tummy and breathe and lift. “Jesus, Oh Sweet Precious Jesus, FILL that emptiness” Let Him lift your heavy burdens away. Let Him love you the way He wants to every single moment. Breath in His Life.

Now Jan reveals to the Church that our diaphragms are the exact location where the joy and peace of Christ radiate from. This is where the precious Holy Spirit abides. I guess getting “the wind knocked out of you” can have some very serious spiritual implications if Jan is right. Where in the Bible are we ever told to “breathe” in His love, peace and joy? Jan is misguiding people based on her paranormal experience and telling them things that are simply not true and make no logical sense if rationally considered.

For example, if the Holy Spirit resides in our diaphragms (as if the omnipresent God can be localized) then what “emptiness” is Jesus supposed to be filling, if we must ‘let Him’ love us the way He wants to, see, we can hinder the grace of God by not allowing Him to love us. Lastly, how do we breathe in His life? Jesus never said that anywhere, nor did the Apostles. Jesus did say in John 6:51  I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.  I do believe spiritual life and renewal can and does come from the sacrament of the Lord’s Table (along with the Apostle Paul, Augustine, Luther, Calvin and others).

“Tears are in my eyes just writing this I hope you are feeling His presence NOW.  He loves you. He wants to renew that dream you had as a teen to do something soooo special for Jesus—but the dream was snatched away” by the burdens of this world. But, that was a Jesus dream and He picked you especially to do that wonderful Kingdom thing for Him. Think about that dream—it would tickle your heart and spirit when you were young. You would see the dream finished and flourishing–you knew that it was a Jesus thing. He’s renewing your mind and your dream now as you read—you see yourself again at 12,15, 18, years old, dreaming BIG for Jesus, and you will this moment declare it “out loud” to Jesus: “Lord, I know that was your dream for me and I declare now I will begin TODAY to renew your Kingdom purpose for my life and I will start TODAY—LIVING MY DREAM.  Do you feel the joy? Are tears in your eyes?   Are you seeing Jesus? Are you two getting the job started? This is your moment, sweet Partner.”   (2)

It seems one of the purposes of this experience was to propel Jan into the role of an exhorter (she uses the pronoun “you” and “yours” 17 times) now that her kingdom vision and the work she must do for Jesus is rekindled she believes that by reading her account her devotees “dream” and kingdom purpose is also being renewed. She tells them to confess (declare in an audible voice) that they will begin today to renew His kingdom purpose and that they will start today living their dreams. Apparently if one follows Jan’s commands and believes her account then they will feel the joy, tears will fill their eyes and they will see Jesus! In other words, an emotional response is proof that one has received the message to begin living their dream.

A Quick Review of This “Experience” of Jan’s

Is it just me, or does it strike anyone else as strange that Jan begins her tale by mentioning hearing her name called three times by some unseen being and then never refers to it again? There is only one biblical text she might strain to cite as support, and is the calling of the Prophet Samuel as a young child under Eli’s care (please read 1 Sam. 3:4-9) That was God’s call to Samuel regarding his future ministry as a prophet to the nation. Is Jan attempting in a very indirect way to imply that she too is being called into some form of prophetic ministry?

Were these calls a “test” to see if she would respond to them, or in some way preparatory to her later more exceptional levitation experience? We don’t know because she does not give us any further details about them. It seems that the “Father” who she assumes was upholding her chose not to reveal the source or reason for these voices either.

According to her own testimony these voices were so real to her she even got up and looked around to see who was calling out her name and yet, saw no one! A psychiatrist might be rightly concerned about a person who hears disembodied voices and claims to awakened from sleep only to be levitated and while in this catatonic state is shown a picture of Haiti which is so far from reality that it can only be considered a delusion at best and the beginning of schizophrenia at worst.

One thing is certain within the world of televangelism and the charismatic fringe (which is becoming the charismatic mainstream today) to stay on top one has to continually “up-the ante” of supernatural encounters, divine revelations, new moves of the Holy Spirit, higher levels of the anointing etc.  Think about it for a few moments. From the onset of Pentecostalism there was the speaking in tongues   (3), then came along dancing in the spirit, writing in other tongues and the old standby of being slain in the spirit.   (4)   Various levels or types of baptisms were touted. When that became passé presto along a wide variety of divine healers. Some claimed to heal by their right hand, others claim to reveal peoples thoughts, some claimed to heal by their left hand. Time passes and along comes holy laughter, then prophetic animal noises, then spiritual drunkenness. (5) That started to frow old then reports about anointing oil covering peoples hands, then onto the gold dust hoax, after that came the claims of  gold teeth miracles  (6)  which lead to claims of jewels being manifested in their revivals. So Jan saying she hears voices or was levitated is really not all that special…except that it happened to someone proclaiming to represent Christian womanhood globally.  ♦

Copyright © 2004  Bob Liichow

End Notes

1. MacArthur, John, Charismatic Chaos. Grand Rapids, MI “Zondervan Publishing 1992 p. 16.

2.(Obtained directly from the TBN website at http://www.tbn.org/about/newsletter/index.php/454.html   on August 21, 2004.

3. All of the original Azusa newsletters are on 2 CD rom’s DMI offers, the latest edition is offered this month. These newsletters are fascinating to read and prove many unbiblcvial and occult practices in the Azusa “revival”.

4. DMI also offers a book entitled “Does the Bible Support A Doctrine of Being Slain in the Spirit?

5. Our book “Blessing or Judgment” covers the origins of all these manifestations and biblically refutes them.

6. DMI has the only book in print biblically refuting the claims of gold teeth too!

 

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